Allison

Missing someone who has died seems to hit me at the most unexpected of times. I was on the train this morning and glanced to my right and there was a girl, with great hair and strong eyebrows, a faint smile on her face while she listened to whatever was on the other end of her headphones. And my eyes filled with tears.

In December it will be three years since we lost our Allison. If I live everyday of the rest of my life making a concerted effort to be a good person, I will not be half as great as Allison was. Some people just have a light inside of them, a warmth that can be felt whenever they are near. She was one of those people.

She was a dancer and a dreamer, a sister and a daughter and an amazing cousin. She danced on stage and through life with a gentleness and ease about her. She had a beautiful spirit. Truly there was no one that didn't like Allison.  She was just one of those people.

Three years ago she was studying dance in Cuba. She was happy and had a boyfriend and checked in back home. We all missed her and thought she was crazy for going, but that was Allison. Determined to follow her own path in life, she went to India when she was 16. There was no stopping Al.

I had just finished working a rather difficult brunch shift on a Saturday. I stayed a little late and Josh was waiting for me in the car at the corner. When I opened the door his face looked strange and I assumed he was annoyed for having to wait. I started to explain that we'd been really busy, but he stopped me. And he told me. And I just kept repeating over and over again, I don't understand, I don't understand. She fell ill on a Wednesday and by Saturday she slipped away. That fast. And she was gone.

We talk about her often in our house. The first spring that she was gone my mom planted some fruit trees at her house and called them Allison's trees. The loss of her, so sudden and unexpected, has greatly impacted how I live my life today. Shortly after she passed we decided to have a third child. I started working less and spending more time with my family. My priorities changed. I missed her going away party and her birthday party because I was working. I just assumed I'd see her when she got back from Cuba. I've learned to not assume I will always get another day with someone I love. And I try everyday to let the people in my live know how very much I love them.